Love, Trust and Co-operation, three pillars of a Happy Family

Love, Trust, and Co-operation, three pillars of a Happy Family

How to Develop Love and Create a Trusted Family Environment?

                                                                                 “Just because your father is present, doesn't mean he isn't absent.” :                                                                                                      Elizabeth Acevedo, The Poet X

Asit Negi

United we stand and stronger we become!

 Family is the most essential building block of a society, an essential unit of any civilized society and any country. We all feel secured and protected in a united family and enjoy the spirit of being with its value and culture .We grow with each other and we stand for each other, in pleasure and pain alike. United we stand and stronger we become, creating a virtual shield of protection comprises of love, Trust and Co-operation around. Mother’s tender love, father’s care, grand pa’s protection, and grand mama’s co-operation are the entities that empower us & make us human and we relish every taste of it with brothers and sisters, carefully transferred to us through uncles and aunts. We live with ease and comfort. When away, we feel the absence of its fragrance and it’s nectarine touch, creating a vacuum space at the corner of our heart, consciously and subconsciously alike.  It’s the institution from where the springs happiness and bliss, what we long for in life.

A family comprises individuals, who get empowered with their self-awareness, imagination, freedom to choose, and especially with the conscience supported by family values and culture. This is where one nurtures one’s life and explores with consciousness to reach the zenith, explore the unlimited. It is where we exercise our choice to agree in disagreement and we are in an inclusive environment. When we are aligned and have a space for all to play around, love and trust among each other springs out from hearts, leading to co-operation for one another. That makes the family rich & valuable. This place we call home comes to us in the form of blessing of the creator, available only after a long wait and great endeavor, it's a hard-earned result. This is not an idealist view, this is a realistic view of life, we are enlivened with and stay human. We do not need instances to prove. 

It’s is easy to break a stick, difficult to break a bundle!

 With growing pressures around us, growing expectation on self, and being in a  race of proving the self-worth with our ignorantly replacing the family unit into the individual unit, losing its strength, becoming fragile, and prone to external threat & pressure creating a  stressful environment.

We all know it is easy to break a stick, but far difficult to break a bundle .We start losing the race, but when realized, it’s too late and we are far away to turn back. The spring of love is dried, the emotional bank account is exhausted and the co-operation is nullified.

 Causes of Family disintegration

 Causes could be many; it is unfair to blame someone. It is situational & circumstantial:  But is the leader or leaders of the family that plays a vital role in taking the responsibility of holding the family together. Please accept the fact with the lack of responsibility, we create the bone of discord and give the devil an opportunity to enter our sweet home.

 Parents’ Divorce:   

This is one of the leading causes of family disintegration. The common dispute between husband and wife leading to diverse could be many but primarily due to financial issues, Sexual misunderstanding, emotional dispute, clashes of ego, uncompromised priorities. It affects the family administration very badly.  

 Premature death of family leaders;

It brings lots of emotional disturbance in family, especially the death of mother and father, it creates a huge apprehension and a vacuum space in children’s mind and the family strength get weaker.

Unrealistic Expectation:

Sometimes we think of ourselves as a proprietor of the family and expect high respect and regards from each member. We expect everybody should listen to us, obey the order, and should agree with what we command. It does not help except creating trouble in the family. This attitude creates a great emotional disturbance and especially impacts negatively among children.

Lack of Administration

Lack of family administration is one of the main reasons for family disintegration. When the family leaders fail to administer, the members are free to do whatever and however & jeopardize family culture and priorities. With the lack of control, we lose the power of choice and exercise our conscience wrongly & we pay the price for it.

Misunderstanding and disagreement

The most common reason for misunderstanding in the family are drugs, intoxication, abuse, bad manner, and misbehavior leading to a distrusting environment creating distance and disagreement among family members.    

Effect of family disintegration on Children

The entire family pay price for this difficult situation, however children are the worst sufferers. It impacts negatively at physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual level and affects their progress in education, behavioral, learning drastically. It also leads to :

-          High level of Parents- Children’s disagreement

-          Low Level of Parents-Children Interaction

How to Develop Love and Create a Trusted Family Environment   :

Love is the remedy for all problems. When everything fails, love rules, trust flows and it’s is pervasive & visible. It’s everywhere and whether we can see or not. When trust is high, we are ready to go extra miles and ready to listen, understand, and take charge. We are open & transparent & we set our priority right. It springs out from love the constitutional ingredient of life, consciously and subconsciously deep corner of the heart. With love and trust, you as a family leader -

 

1.   Take time for yourself in the early morning doing mediation, prayer to stay in solitary. Rejuvenate yourself and stay connected with yourself  

2.     Take responsibility and ownership for your family

3.     Value the difference of opinion

4.     Give a chance to others to express their emotion and thoughts & Listen carefully to understand their point of views

5.     Pray together – value the presence of Supreme and feel protected

6.    Love to spare time with family, dine together - at least take a responsibility to have dinner together, switching off all digital gadgets.

7.     Keep a work life balance – Keep away work pressure and drop at the gate

8.     Keep separate time for family outing and recreation

9.     Control your emotion set your expectation right, do not over expect

10. Drop your ego & do not forget, you are not the owner, you are just the custodian of family members and you are responsible for their future.

About the author

 Asit Negi    |   asit@lorekin.com

 

Asit is an adviser in enterprise-wide talent and learning transformations who brings deep industry and consulting experience in corporate learning strategy, learning technology, and learning journey. As a Life coach, he coaches & helps individuals and leaders in achieving their great results. Asit is based out of Bangalore.